telehealth top surgery
(or, psychically splice me, cut me open! and heal me well)
2022-2024
“telehealth top surgery” is an official selection of Reeling LGBT+ Film Festival! Click here for information on showtimes and virtual viewing options.
This piece is an exploration of (psychic) surgery, body modification, and other gender-affirming procedures as a site of trans healing and identity building. It embraces the visceral nature of surgery (not shying away from the blood, guts, or horror) but also longing for the beauty and peace brought to patients with self-making, gender-affirming surgeries. The video was shot in December 2022, two months prior to my top surgery in February ‘23, after over a year of planning, preparation, waiting, and schedule changes for the procedure.
The work critiques the nature of the medical system with a soundtrack composed of recorded medical hold music and distorted clips of the song “So Tired” by 40s artist Kay Starr. This soundtrack highlights the romanticized lens that the US medical system presents to patients, when the reality of seeking gender-affirming care is largely dependent on the patient’s ability to self advocate and navigate confusing bureaucratic systems. The difficult reality of these failed systems is represented by the hold music growing dissonant and uncanny as it is slowed, reversed, pitched, and mixed together throughout the duration of the piece.
A large piece of the research behind this project was examining the rich and fascinating histories of psychic surgery practices that first drew media attention in the West in the 1970s and 80s. These “surgical” practices originated in the Philippines and Brazil due to the combinations of traditional shamanistic practices with globalization and perpetuation of Western medicalization, and were bolstered by the growing popularity of medical and spiritual tourism among Westerners. This video builds upon these histories through a new lens: the Western medical world’s reliance on telehealth/digital medicine after the onset of COVID-19. Telehealth is often framed as an idealized space of medical immediacy – away from the hold music, unhelpful hospital staff, and long waits of the past. “telehealth top surgery” creates a spirito-digital world in which telehealth actually delivers on its claims of immediacy and complete treatment in the comfort of home. Of course, this reality has an irony, because the surgeon must be yourself.
Materials: video (14:35 min), manipulated found and recorded audio, one (1) trans body forced to wait, chromakey green body paint, flour clay, acrylic paint, gel medium, hot glue, bioplastic (agar-agar, glycerin, water), glitter, wool roving, food coloring, “I can’t believe it’s not blood” brand fake blood, Mehron coagulated fake blood, polypropylene monofilament sutures, dissection tools, black nail polish, red-stained hand (x2).